A Letter for My Girls

A long time ago I cannot exactly pin point what age when we were asked what do you want to be when you grow up I wrote down a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader and a Mom. Well one of those wasn’t really an option lol but the other one was always there. Even as I got older it was always to be a wife and a mom. Somewhere along the way in my journey as a Stay at home mom the pressure to be more than just a mom was there. Off handed comments were made and it dug at my self esteem. I now realize it had more to do with me than them. There was this pressure to always need to prove that I am more than just a stay at home mom because that title alone wasn’t successful enough, because I didn’t bring home a paycheck made me unworthy. I cannot tell you how many different things I tried selling that didn’t fit me at all, but I wanted to have just that one thing of my own. Only to leave me back where I started.

Once we finally got settled the need for something of my own was there and I was trying to navigate that out. I have always had a love for kids. I worked at a preschool while I was in college still to this day it was my most favorite job. I took gymnastics as a young girl I was never going to be any simone biles but it was so fun for me and it is even more fun now watching my girls enjoy it. The opportunity to be able to teach gymnastics to all of my sweet kids in this town has been amazing and I LOVE LOVE it so much! These kids make my day and it is such a joy to see them grow and learn, to see the smile on their faces when they conquer that skill they have been working so hard on.

I have had these plans to build this building for Panther Gymnastics for quiet some time it has been scary and fun. Recently I could feel God trying to speak to me but my life has been going 90 miles an hour I didn’t have the time to fully listen. I have been praying for discernment and asking some others to pray for me as well and yesterday what He has been trying to tell me grabbed ahold of my heart full throttle and it crushed me.

I have always known what I signed on for when my husbands dream was to be a doctor. I have to be flexible for my girls and be there for them because his job does not allow it. Nothing will ever take the priority of my girls or my family. Adams job has come with some more responsibilities right now and with that comes schedule changes and probably a little chaos for our family for a little bit until we can figure out the new normal. I cannot give a 110% to my family and to this new building. I can feel God telling me to say no for now. Please listen when I tell you that this putting the new building on hold is not forever and I know there will be so many who are disappointed but trust me when I say I am too. This was not an easy decision to come too. When God tells you no it is not always a happy thing its frustrating and disappointing and comes with many tears at least on my end.

My family needs me. My girls need me and that is where I belong for now. I am still going to be teaching gymnastics at The Hospital Fitness Center but the big building plans have been put on pause. The thought of letting the community down hurts me so much but the thought of not being fully present and letting my girls hurts me more. The fear of the unknown is so hard but I am going to keep my faith and trusting in Him because He knows what my future holds.

Love you all so very much,

Leslie