Choosing The We Over Me

Recently I bought the book called Emptied by the late Wynter Pitts and her husband Jonathan Pitts. When I bought this in my head I was thinking ok good this book is going to validate me and my feelings. This book is going to show me how I need my husband to do some things better. See these are all the things I have been talking about. Oh how I can imagine God laughing at me knowing what was waiting for me when I opened this book.

Lately life has gotten crazy. I mean we have three kids and each of their different schedules it can make life pretty stressful at times. Not even throwing in all their sporting activities. His crazy call schedule and I have a list of things I am doing that run a mile long. It is so easy to let these things in life overwhelm you and you suddenly sit and realize that you and your spouse have not had a date night since who knows when. That you have been talking so much kid talk that you haven’t spent true time with each other. Its easy when this happens to start focusing so much on your needs that you become so focused on the me that you forget that you are a we.

“God wants you to be more interested in His dealing with you than His dealing with your spouse.”

Emptied. Authors; Wynter and Jonathan Pitts. Harvest House Publishers, 2019.

There was one chapter in this book that made me wake up and realize that I have been so focused on what I need that I have lost sight of helping my husband. It is so important to make time for ourselves and filling up our cup so that we can fill others but there is a line between that and our selfishness taking over. When we become so consumed with our needs more than anyone else’s it’s easy to take every little thing that happens offensively. In marriage we are made to serve each other. We cannot become so focused on what the other is lacking to provide that we find ourselves always picking out the negatives even when a positive thing occurs. I think that in most marriages we wait to arrive at this sweet spot and things are going so smoothly that you become less focused on continuously nurturing your relationship this is when its easy to let the enemy creep in. I say this because we have been at this place many different times. We forget that our schedules are always changing and new things come up all the time. This book reminded me that there is always a need for the consistent nurturing of our marriage. It reminded me that even though I am overwhelmed at times I cannot lose sight of the WE.

This is a reminder for me that I do not always need to be right but instead maybe I need to hear him and swallow my pride and go on. This book reminded me that I need to be more aware of my short comings and less focused on his. At times its more important to show grace than to add a notch to our pride. It is important to view our marriage with spiritual eyes because when we view our spouse from that place we can love the way God intended us to. Marriage is a very humbling experience. It’s realizing that there is more to love than just yourself. There are times you give up things that are important to you for the better of the whole. You have so much love for this person you push each others buttons sometimes not in great ways. We show Gods love in our marriage when we set our indifference aside and pursue each other with a grace fueled heart.

“Using God’s truth as your fighting words will not change what you see, but it absolutely will change how you see.”

It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way. Lysa Terkeurst. Nelson Books, 2018.

Pray with each other and for each other. I say this because praying together is not something we regularly do but I am going to start doing. If we are spiritually connected and God is our center than what can come between us? So do not lose sight of the WE even in the struggles and the hard times because those will always be there. His strength will hold you up and together. He is your glue. If we are centered with Him than nothing and take that glue away. Since Valentines Day is this week make one of your gifts to each other to become Christ centered, and to be more focused on the WE and not the me.

XOXO