Forgiveness

“If anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure to all of you.

This punishment by the majority is enough for such a person, so that on the contrary you should forgive and encourage him instead.

 Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love for him.

For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Anyone whom you forgive, I also forgive.

Indeed, what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, so that we would not be outwitted by Satan.” 2 Corinthians 2: 5-11

Forgiveness for me is not something that comes easily at times. It can take years for some and for some forgiveness comes easy. For some, they never forgive. I honestly envy those people that can truly forgive quickly and move on. I am trying so hard to be like that and forgive justly and fervently as God wants us to do. There are some situations that I have been able to forgive, but there are some that have held onto with my heart, rooted down, and slowly grew into bitterness and anger that controlled my life. Can you imagine if God did not forgive justly, like when Simon Peter denied him three times or when Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver? He knew this was going to happen but choose to love them anyway and to forgive them anyway. When you think about these situations and how trivial some of the things we hold onto, it seems so foolish.   

I have been in situations before where I wanted to hold onto that hurt and that hurt eventually molded itself into bitterness, anger, revenge and vengeance; it ate away at my life. There were times where I wanted to be justified for feeling the way I felt and I wanted so desperately for people to reaffirm my feelings. I wanted God to provide the justification that I was seeking on earth when maybe that was not what He was trying to teach me. When you have been hurt it is so hard to let go of that pain and move on. I am still not great at forgiveness especially if that person hasn’t apologized. When they haven’t apologized it’s so easy to justify holding onto those hurts. This is where God reminds me that I am to forgive anyway and love them anyway. I do believe if you pray and work enough at this you can truly forgive, but just because you forgive doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave a scar in your heart. My heart has been scarred more than once, and I know it will happen again. Each of those scars has taught me something and has helped me learn different ways to handle that certain person or situation and to change my expectations of them. Learning the art of forgiveness takes time and a lot of prayer, and I still pray about it regularly because I have still not fully figured it out. If you struggle at times like me the easiest place to start is with your spouse. There have been plenty of times even with my husband that I have not wanted to forgive him for even the most trivial things. Just start somewhere and grow from there. That is the beauty of our God though, as long as you are trying, learning and growing He is always there to help you. Over this last year I truly have let His wisdom really open my eyes and my heart.

“Whatever you do, do from the heart, as for the Lord and not for others.” Colossians 3:23

If you live your life filled with anger, bitterness and vengeance you are not fully living the life God intended for you to live. These things cloud your judgement and control your feelings and how you react to everything. Plus I can tell you from experience your heart is carrying around a weight so heavy that you aren’t fully breathing. When you experience that peace that comes from God you will crave it more than ever before. You will find yourself once you have experienced God working in your life, and then you will try to live in a way that brings you even closer to Him. Once you have truly forgiven someone with each encounter you see them differently than before. You are able to be less bothered by them. Do not let your pride stand in the way of forgiveness because it is so easy to do. If you truly want to experience the art of God’s forgiveness you have to be able to forgive in return.