It’s the Little Things

The days of motherhood where you feel like you cannot come up for air. The days that feel like you are being suffocated. The days that seem never ending. When you are so exhausted but you cannot go to sleep.      Have you had one of those days recently? Don’t worry I have too. Our youngest has become even more attached to the hip now that her older sisters have started school and at times I love it and soak it up, but there are times I just need to breath. I have always wanted a momma’s girl and I definitely have one, but I don’t want to resent it; I want to embrace it but the struggle is real.

I wish I would have known back when I first became a mom what all it takes to be a mom. I never knew how much self sacrifice it takes, how many tears I would cry from shear frustration, how suffocating it can truly feel at times. How everyday you give it all you’ve got and still feel like its not enough. I honestly always feel like there is something more I could be doing or something that I could do better. Not to mention the pressures that today’s society puts on us. Finding the balance between being mom, wife and “me time” is so hard.  For three years of residency that we lived in Tyler I was on my own for the first time, and let me tell you it was HARD! For the first time I could not just call someone to come to my rescue when I was desperate. It gave me a new appreciation and respect for all you military wives holding down the fort on your own, you are seriously a superhero (Aunt Mon-Mon)! Single moms I don’t know how you do it either wonder woman! There were nights I would have the girls for 24 hours, weeks of night float and I had no relief coming, and those days it was hard to be the best version of myself. It was hard to be patient and calm. Some of these times it brought out the worst in me and sometimes the best. But you know what? I showed up and I gave them my all. I tried my hardest. Thats ultimately the best you can do for your kids is to be there. To show up and give them your all. Love them deeply and by doing so you are teaching them how to bring more love to this world. During these times you realize that you are stronger than ever thought you were. It brought me closer to my girls in the good and the bad. My patience was tested in more ways than I could have ever imagined it would be. I am so thankful for this time period. Even though at first I was so angry for moving, it made us learn what was worth arguing and what wasn’t. It made us appreciate the little things even more than before. It made a 30 minute bath time feel like a weekend at the beach. It made us work together in our marriage as a team, we only had each other to rely on. Through these times I realized that I cannot rely on my strength alone to make it through hard times. God is there to guide me and help me if I allow Him to be.

“When a woman lives with the stress of an overwhelmed schedule,

she’ll ache with the sadness of an underwhelmed soul.”- Lysa TerKeurst

I feel like we set ourselves up for failure because we have this idea in our head of what our life is supposed to look like, and when it doesn’t turn out that way we selfishly try to hold onto it. You look at everyone else’s highlight reels on social media and you instantly think that you need to be something more. Every year brings you new trials and as your kids get older and more involved with things at school, it is so hard to not let that overwhelm your life. I am the first one to agree that “me time” is essential and is necessary so that you can be a better person and overall mother and wife but there is a limit to that time as well. When school starts back my “me time” isn’t as frequent as it used to be and that’s ok. You have to adjust your expectations with the stage of life you are in. You have to learn to be appreciative for what you get and stop holding onto what you didn’t get. Once you start being thankful and stop focusing on what you didn’t get it makes your life so much better. Just recently I read in the book Girl, Wash your Face by; Rachel Hollis

“When I’m stressing about parenting, its usually because I feel like I am lacking for quality time with my kids”

This is so true. Sometimes when I feel so stressed and overwhelmed my “me time” might be me taking one of my girls with me somewhere and having that one on one time with them and just having that time calms my soul. We are always running 10 different directions so to be able to slow down and connect with the like that is so special and needed. My husband alternates and takes our girls on Daddy/Daughter date nights and the girls love it. Its the most adorable thing to watch them get so excited to spend that time with their Daddy.

“Satan’s temptation gratifies the flesh. God’s provision satisfies the soul.”- Lysa TerkKeurst

Start every day spending time with God and He will feed your soul for the day. One day in about 18 years you will have more than enough alone time and these moments with them is what you will cherish in the quiet. You get one shot at motherhood you cannot go back. For now this season you are in may be exhausting, frustrating, amazing, suffocating, beautiful and so on if you do not learn to embrace where you are right now; find happiness in the season you are in you will never be happy. Every day I make myself say three things that I am thankful for, three things that I love and I pray every day to not treat my girls as burdens but love them for the blessings that they are. I pray every day to be able to nurture and love them in the way God needs to me and to guide them in a life with Him. Trust me just because I do that does not mean that I do not lose it on them at times and I still feel the feeling of suffocation at times. Being a mom and wife is hard and exhausting but if you change your mindset and your view and embrace your life at the stage you are you will find more love and joy in the end.

One day those little moments become the biggest moments in our kid’s lives.

XOXO