Learning Curve

Just recently I was listening to a podcast by Rachel and Dave Hollis called Rise Together, and it had to do with the 5 ways to show up for your partner. They each have their own perspective which is nice and I listened to both, and it was so good so I thought I would share. I do not do talk radio…it drives me nuts, and Adam loves it but for some reason, but I love listening to podcasts lol. Some I love because they make me laugh and some because they challenge me and help me to grow. If we want to have a thriving marriage we have to thrive in our own personal growth to thrive for each other.

Pursue

This is the first thing they bring up and once you have been married for awhile and you throw a few kids into the mix and the idea of pursuing goes by the way side. You need to be flirting and letting them know how much you are in love with them. A small “You look really beautiful today” goes a long way. Do the things that you did for each other before you were married, before you had kids. Just because you have been married for years doesn’t mean that you don’t have to still pursue each other. One of the things that they talked about was so good was making your relationship intentional. Be intentional with consistent date nights with each other. It’s so important and gives you time with just each other to just fully enjoy each other. Be intentional with the way you pursue your spouse.

Protect

Protecting your spouse. Not just physically but in other ways. Protect your relationship from outside influence. You let the world know that they are and always will be the most important thing to you in the world. I love that Dave says you need to be their biggest fan. You are the biggest supporter and encourager that they have. Also having and respecting each others boundaries in your relationship. Those boundaries build and help maintain trust in your marriage and are very important.   

Push

Being in a marriage requires you to put in consistent effort and requires each of you to grow and learn throughout your life. We have to be able to hold each other accountable when we aren’t doing the best that we can do as a wife or a parent. Those conversations are hard but they absolutely have to be had because from these conversations your relationship grows deeper and stronger in the end. We should want the best versions not only for us but also for our families. You also have to push your spouse to have friends and things to do outside of your relationship and your family.  Adam has picked up mountain biking and there are times where I have long days and he comes home and I offer for him to be able to have some time just for him or when his friends are in to play golf or go hunting. If you do these things, they have to be done with a loving and generous heart. You cannot do these things for him and immediately start scolding him when he gets home, that’s not fair. We have to both want these times for each other because we love and want the best for each other.

Please

It is clearly important to have a good intimate relationship but there are other things that fall into this category than just intimately. One of the big things that Dave talks about is doing small things.  For me its leaving me little notes saying sweet things, an unexpected text message that says I love you and I hope you have a great day. Adam surprising me with coffee from Triple T Latte or him planning a date night from time to time. It’s not anything crazy ridiculous, it’s seriously the small things that will make me smile and give me that pick me up. It’s important that we show each other how much we love each other, and it’s good for us to go out of our way for each other just to say I love you! When these small things are done more often it bleeds over into other areas of your relationship as well.

The last one I made my own because I feel like its important for my #5 and that is…

Pray

Praying for your spouse is so important. I pray for Adam every day in his job as a doctor, husband, father and son. I pray for him to be guided and lead by God. I pray for him to be able to work with his patients to the best of his abilities. I pray that he leads our family well and shows our girls what kind of man to look for one day. I pray for our marriage also. God wants to be involved in your marriage, and it’s important to keep Him involved together and separately. Praying for your spouse also brings you closer together. It makes it easier for me too when Adam and I are not seeing eye to eye; I pray about things and pray for the right words to be able to guide me. I still yell at him from time to time and want to throat punch him here and there lol but having God at the center makes everything more clear to see and more bearable. 

” If you are frustrated with your partner and you aren’t communicating why you’re frustrated

that’s on you. You are setting them up for failure.”-Rachel Hollis

One of my favorite things that they say is “show up your spouse.” Showing up for each other is pursuing your spouse every day in some way. Showing up is protecting and pushing your spouse being their biggest fan and at times giving some criticism that they may not appreciate but doing it because you know they can do better. Showing up means pleasing your spouse even when it may not be something that you want to do, but you do it because you want to see them happy. I can promise you once you see how happy it makes them it will make you happy too. Showing up for your spouse by praying for them every single day. Pray for God to guide you to love and respect them and for Him to guide and lead your spouse that will please Him. I hope these 5 things push you to start something new with your spouse and encourages you in your marriage. Go and find the Rise Together podcast, there are so many good episodes on there to listen too. There is always something to work on, and if we want the best marriage we have to expect the best from each other. 

XOXO