The Hard Conversations

Ok so back to my favorite podcast again Rise Together, seriously if you have not listened to this yet you have to its so good. This episode is all about the hard conversations that are so important in your marriage. Hard conversations let’s just be honest, suck! lol. You want to avoid these at all cost, but you cannot if you really want true growth in your marriage. Rachel and Dave have this way of talking about these things that makes it so real and relatable that it inspires you. These conversations are vital to the growth of your marriage. Are they going to be enjoyable? Absolutely not. Are you necessarily going to enjoy your spouse’s presence after these conversations? No, but what these conversations will do is show that you want what’s best for your marriage and that you want what is best for each other. I love their quote about what they want out of their marriage:

“We do not want a good marriage, not a great one

we want an exceptional marriage.”

Before you have these kind of conversations you need to pray for what you what the outcome of this to be. It will help keep you focused on the purpose and being able to communicate out of a place of love not anger. Let’s be honest we all fall short and we are not always right. We should always expect the best from our spouse for our marriage and our family. We have to be able to hold each other accountable when we feel like there is something more the other should be doing for themselves and our family. You have to be willing to accept your part in what went wrong. There have been times when motherhood has been so exhausting and overwhelming that I have checked out, but my husband has called me on it and it required me to look in the mirror. You have to get past the part of you that wants to be defensive and look in the mirror and be honest with yourself. There have been times where my husband and his love of YouTube interferes with our time together or when he needs to be paying attention to our girls and I call him on it. We absolutely have to show up for one another in holding each other accountable. One of the things that they said and I just love is,

” If you want to change your marriage change yourself”

Change is growth. Change is always important. Your marriage will be greater because you chose to grow. Dave Hollis says something that he points to being misinterpreted in today’s society and it is that; “The only people who reach for self help are broken.” and he is right, this is not true. You have to want to help yourself before you can help anyone else. To be able to depend on each other you have to be able to depend on yourself. You will be better because you chose to grow. Challenging each other to grow is amazing because that shows how much you love and care about each other. The greatest quote of all time;

“You will get out of it what you put into it.”

If you don’t expect the best version of each other then you won’t get it. If you don’t expect an exceptional marriage then you won’t achieve it. You have to learn from your failures and grow from them. Do not hold in your frustrations or disappointments with each other because this is only going to build resentment, and as Rachel Hollis says, you end up getting mad when they ask you for the mustard lol. But it is so true. Things that you aren’t even mad at become bigger than they should be because you are ignoring the real problem. So don’t settle for less than the best version of yourself and your spouse. Encourage each other. Hold each other accountable. Have the hard conversations because out of the valley and out of the hard times great and exceptional things can be born. Do not limit yourself and your marriage because you refuse to grow.

XOXO