What Really Has Your Heart

For a few weeks I have felt this heaviness and this nagging at my heart God was speaking to me, and I could feel it I just didn’t want to listen. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to admit that I was doing anything wrong. Maybe it’s because the fear of letting go of something is going to have major backlash on what I am trying to do. Then yesterday at mass with Father Bose and today on my podcast with Craig Groeschel I was reminded that I am trying to run from what God is trying to show me. I have one too many distractions in my line of sight to keep me from seeing what God is trying to show me. Have you ever experienced this? When you try to ignore it, it just keeps showing up in all different places until it smacks you right in the face. 

I allow myself to become very distracted with things in this world that takes my heart and my eyes off of what God is trying to get to me to do. Writing my blog is important for me I really enjoy it and it makes me happy. I love bringing God’s love into this world. Writing is very therapeutic to me. I love social media to be able to keep up with everyone, find some cute things now and then, but I am being reminded that these distractions like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat etc. are taking my time and my attention away from where it belongs. It belongs with my family, my children, my husband and focusing on where God is trying to lead me. I get so worried that if I am not involved enough on social media then my blog will not be as successful as it could be. I can be so happy and content with my life and see someone I don’t even know on social media and it immediately can make me insecure and question my contentment in my life. I wake up and the first thing I look somedays is not to God but to social media. Like somehow Instagram or Facebook are going to breathe the love I need into my life. I am letting these distractions take away from spiritual needs. I am trying to fill my time with distractions of the enemy instead of the spiritual love of the creator. When we become distracted away from God our enemy wins. Each time we choose to prioritize these things over time with Him, our vision becomes blurred and our ears so use to the noise that it can’t stand the quiet. Every time we do this we are losing sight of what God wants for our lives. 

I can feel God telling me to pull back. My life has become all too consumed by social media and the need to be more present on social media because of the fears if I am not I will not be successful. I can feel the pull it has on my heart at times and it makes me feel that I am never enough. I am trying to live up to the impossible standards of our society instead of living the life He has for me. What if because of the choice to stay committed to these distractions begin to have a greater effect on my heart, my family, and my spiritual health more than I want because my vision is too blurred to see clearly? It is so hard to have this fear griping your heart because of the unknown, but that is the testament of faith, trusting in what you cannot see. It’s trusting and believing who has your heart without knowing where this will take you. The moment I stopped to really listen and not run from His guidance the heaviness began to become lighter. My vision more clear because I am listening to Him. I have calmed the chaos of my life so that He shines through. I am scared but I trust Him. I will still be posting blogs but the feeling to be a constant presence on social media is going to have to die down because I know this is what He is asking of me. The road of placing your trust in Him requires detours, speed bumps and some wreckage now and then but the road paved with Him will be the most beautiful sight you have ever seen. It’s the greatest road trip you will ever take.

He will rejoice over you with gladness and renew you in His love,

He will sing joyfully because of you. Zephaniah 3: 14-18A